My daughter thinks that ‘love (part 1)’ smacks of too much cynicism from someone who has been happily married for 25 years. So here are some other happier, lighter shades……
1 – Love isn’t just the red of rose or a heart shaped kiss. It’s multicoloured, mesmeric and constantly surprising. But if love has to be compared to one thing I would say it is a little like an onion. You think this is it, it works, it’s good. But then with time and circumstance another protective layer strips away and love grows deeper and you think WOW I didn’t know love could be THIS good….the trouble with the onion analogy is that you never know how many rings, how many layers and second chances we have with each other unless we are prepared to chop into the heart of it and commit completely.
2 – When you are really loved, you feel utterly accepted for who you are – the bad bits as well as the good. You don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not, holding in your stomach to appear thinner, covering your spots with make up, your misdemeanours and weaknesses with white lies, saying what you think the other person wants to hear. You relax enough to be yourself. They see you for who you are. They don’t want to change you. They hold up a mirror to your behaviour to help you get to know yourself better. That’s how you learn to really trust them more with your welfare and then yet another layer of the onion strips away.
3 – Love is shown in small kindnesses – cups of tea in the morning, texts and messages to make you smile. Love rarely resides in the grander gestures which are designed to seduce.
4 – Love can build into the most intimate form of friendship. Sharing jokes and wordplay which only the two of you understand. Sharing experiences which translate into shared memories and a shared history.
5 – Love is a basic primary need, like food, air and water. Without it we tend to grow brittle and wither. But Love cannot blossom without some basic skills to nurture it such as honesty, tenderness, tolerance and forgiveness. That’s why we value it so – because it touches at the very heart of what is best in all of us.