I was on Woman’s Hour with Steve Biddulph discussing the difficulties girls face today. Here is the link if you want to have a listen: http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01pzs6m/
They were flooded with emails so I decided to add these few tips to the blog in the hope that they might help. What else do you think girls should know?
1) Looks matter but other people never see you in the same way as you see yourself. They don’t notice the things that you probably worry about the most – like the width of your thighs or the way your nose isn’t quite pinched or petite enough. They notice the sparkle in your eyes, the flash of your smile, the confidence which oozes from every pore if you can find a way to be content with who you are, and how you look.
2) Real flesh bears little resemblance to the emaciated flesh you see in magazines, film or television. Faces are touched up in advertising. Hair doesn’t naturally bounce about like that – they use wind machines. It costs thousands of pounds to get models to look as glamorous as that for just one day of the shoot. Actresses starve themselves because television and film tends to make you look fatter than you really are. And then even the ones who are supposed to play the ‘ugly, dumpy’ ones look pretty.
3) The flesh displayed in pornography bears even less resemblance to real female bodies. Fact – Women have pubic hair and good men like women that way. Fact – breasts come in all shapes and sizes, just like penises. Fact – very few women enjoy sex the way it is portrayed in porn. Fact – very few people have sex the way it is portrayed in porn and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise, particularly teenage boys. How do they know? Fact – your body is yours and yours alone. Your vagina is yours alone too so if you want to shave your pubes or dye them purple then that is your choice. But if that is because of pressure from boys or other girls then remember that this fashion has been created by the porn industry so that they can see your bits more easily, and make you look more like a little girl.
4) You have a right to enjoy your body and the amazing things that it can do sexually, never let anybody take that right away from you. Masturbate. Then you will know how to show others how to give you pleasure.
5) One day, when you are middle aged like your mother is now, you will look back at pictures of yourself as a teenager and be amazed by how beautiful you were. You can’t see that now, but one day you will and wonder how much better life could have been had you known that then.